My Consent Policies
As an educator, coach, and leader in sexuality spaces, it is important for me to have a clear policy regarding any new personal and/or sexual relationships that I might enter into. Since there are different needs for different situations, this policy is separated into two sections: interactions with students and workshop demo models, and interactions with coaching clients.
Interactions with students and workshop demo models:
Given the power differential that can result from a teacher/student dynamic, I will not initiate or engage in any sexual interaction (including flirting) with anyone who attends or acts as a demo model for any of my workshops or presentations, for at least three months. At the end of that time, if we both agree that we want to pursue a personal relationship, we will have a conversation about how we will navigate the transition from the teacher/student relationship to a personal one. This policy applies to workshops, conference presentations, professional trainings, webinars, and all other online and in-person teaching environments. However, it does not apply if someone with whom I have a pre-existing relationship attends one of my workshops or serves as a demo model.
Interactions with clients:
In order to maintain the container that supports the personal growth and healing work that my clients engage in, I will not have any personal relationships with any of my clients while we are working together, and for at least two years after the termination of our working relationship. In this context, “personal relationship” includes friendship and social interactions.
Since I sometimes share social community with clients, it is possible that we might both attend the same event or have mutual acquaintances. If we see each other in public or social spaces, my current and former clients are welcome to initiate a conversation with me, but I will not approach them or initiate contact.
After two years, if a former client wants to engage in a personal relationship of any kind, they are welcome to contact me to talk about it; however, I will not initiate that conversation. I will inform my supervisor and my accountability coach, Mischa Byruck (see below), and we will discuss the situation and all relevant circumstances. If we agree that a personal relationship is appropriate and something that I am available for, my former client and I will have a series of conversations about what kind of relationship we want to create, and how we will transition our connection.
Navigating Pre-Existing Relationships
If someone who I share professional circles with approaches me for coaching work, we will have an open and frank discussion about what we would each need to both support our work together and maintain an appropriate professional relationship.
If someone who I have a pre-existing personal or professional relationship approaches me for coaching work, we will have an open and frank discussion to explore if we can maintain our connection, if we need to shift entirely to a practitioner-client relationship, or if they would be better served by a different coach. That will depend on the nature of the concern or topic that they are seeking support for, the history that we share, and their motivations for approaching me. Their safety and needs will be prioritized through this process.
If you have had an experience with me that you believe violates any of these policies, or that you felt harmed by, I welcome your feedback. If you have any hesitation in approaching me, I invite you to contact my accountability team by filling out this confidential google form. You can also get in touch with the team directly, you can use this confidential email. I have no access to the form or its responses, or the team’s email. They will only share identifying information with me with your express, affirmative consent.
My Accountability Team
Mischa Byruck (he/him) is an accountability and integrity coach for men who have done harm, whether they have been called into accountability by others or not. In addition to his participation on my accountability team, Mischa and I will engage in ongoing coaching work together.
Alyssa Morin (she/her) is a somatic sex educator, a relationship and intimacy guide, and a member of both the Grievance Council and the Ethics Committee for the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers. She has been an active contributor to the ACSB’s ongoing project of developing a better grievance process and accountability structure for sexological bodyworkers/somatic sex educators.
Dr. Hazel-Grace Yates (she/her) is an intimacy coach and retreat facilitator with extensive experience and a deep commitment to bringing equity and inclusion to the field of sexual education and coaching.
Codes of Ethics
As a certified somatic sex educator, I abide by the Code of Professional Conduct and Ethics of the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers in all of my somatic sex education sessions. As a certified Somatica® practitioner, I abide by the Somatica Institute Code of Ethics in all of my coaching sessions.
You can contact the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers with any concerns about my somatic sex education sessions, and you can contact the Somatica Institute with any concerns about my coaching sessions.