My Accountability Process

CW: trauma, abuse

For the last several months, I’ve been working with an accountability pod to help me address some problematic and hurtful things that I did online and in personal interactions in 2016, as well as the damaging and abusive things I did towards one of my partners in the two years leading up to that. Before, during, and after this time, I was deeply triggered and dysregulated, and I was taking it out on the people around me, including (but not limited to): verbally dominating conversations and aggressively trying to get others to validate my beliefs or perspective, unwanted or inappropriate flirting and sexual attention, and disclosing information about my former partner to try to convince people to agree with what I was saying and doing. I was out of my integrity and acting out at the people around me. Many of you might have seen or heard about some of that at the time, or since then.

As part of my accountability process, my pod and I are inviting anyone who was negatively impacted by my actions to confidentially share your experiences with my pod. If you would like more information, you can read more about my actions, this accountability process, or the people I am working with. All of these documents have been posted to this Medium account, and updates will also be posted to Medium as things progress. If you would like to share your story with my pod, this confidential google form has been created for that purpose. My pod will only share your story with me with your express, affirmative consent.

If you have any questions, you can also contact my pod through the confidential email linked in the Medium post. I will not have access to your messages, unless you specifically give the pod permission to share them with me.

If you know of any individuals or groups that would want to be aware of this or that have information to share with my pod, please share this post or send them the link to the Medium page.

My pod has already reached out to my former partner to let them know about this process. There is no need to pass this post along to them or tag them in the comments, as they are already aware of it. Thank you for respecting their space.

I am deeply sorry that my actions impacted and hurt so many people, and I hope that this process creates a space in which I can take responsibility for the effects of what I did.

Relevant links:

My public statement and the pod’s public statement

My pod members

Report collection form

Confidential pod contact email (I do not have access to these messages)

Medium account for these posts (managed by my pod)