If you ask most people what makes someone an amazing lover, they’ll probably say that it’s about being able to give your partner pleasure. There’s certainly a lot of truth in that, but it’s only half of the story. The other half is taking pleasure. Let me explain that that means. Giving Pleasure When you
There’s a funny thing that a lot of people do during sex. They focus so much on increasing the level of stimulation that they actually miss out on some of the opportunities to experience incredible pleasure. That’s because one of the most effective ways to enhance your sexual experience is to create a rise and
I talk with a lot of people about their sexual desires and the things they want to try. One of the questions that they sometimes ask is “how do I make this sexual fantasy come true?” I find that there’s actually more to that than you might think. Most fantasies aren’t just about the physical
There’s a question you can ask during sex that can lead to a communication trainwreck, despite your best intentions. “What do you like?” On the surface, it seems like a great way to find out what brings a smile to your partner’s face and show consideration for their preferences and needs. And in some situations,
Here’s a question I got in my inbox: I am a guy in a polyamorous relationship with a woman who is rather more experienced than I am in the poly world, and in terms of threesomes, group sex, etc. We’re planning on having a threesome soon, and potentially a foursome with another couple. I know
One of the most common questions I hear is: how do I tell someone I’m into them without coming across as creepy. It’s a real big fear for a lot of people, especially men. Expressing desire without being pushy seems like an impossible task. What is Creepy? One thing that makes this difficult is that
So here’s a great question someone sent me: I have a question… or opinion from you please and thanks. If a person doesn’t indulge in sexual intercourse with a partner are they abstinent or celibate? And are they either if they penetrate themselves with a toy? Lastly, if they only use a bullet without penetration
Here’s a question that someone sent me: I’m sure you’ve covered this at some point already but I was curious if you had any suggestions for lasting longer? I’ve tried numbing lubes, trying to distract myself with thinking about something else (which doesn’t work well and takes away from the experience 🙁 ) and I’ve
Here’s a question that someone sent me about group sex: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I love him a lot and the sex is great. He is the most sex-positive person I’ve dated, and is open to experimenting with me. I am curious about including others in our play, and
One of the more common reasons people find it difficult to experience pleasure, build connection and intimacy, or enjoy sex is that they don’t know how to slow down. In this ever-faster, multi-tasking, get-it-done-now, over-scheduled world, it’s easy to get spun up and hard to calm down. When you’re chronically wound up, sex often disappears
Have you ever noticed how often people talk about sex in terms of the “active partner” and the “passive partner?” It’s a fascinating euphemism, and of course, what they’re referring to is who’s giving and receiving penetration. But separate from the fact that sex doesn’t have to mean penetration, I don’t see any reason to
Here’s a question that showed up in my in-box today: Sometimes, when my boyfriend and I have anal sex, it’s really fun. But other times, it just doesn’t work. That doesn’t happen when we have regular intercourse. What are we doing wrong? It’s sort of hard to give you a specific answer since there are
