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One of the biggest sticking points in sex-positive communities is that there’s a pattern of not don’t openly acknowledge the ways in which sexual intrusion, assault and trauma shape sexuality. Discussions of sex-positivity rarely include what it means to live in a world in which effectively every woman (both cis- and transgender) and many of
One of the difficulties that I’ve faced in discussing sex-positivity with some folks is that there are two different lenses that a lot of people use when talking about these issues. Some use an entirely personal lens, as in “I like doing this thing, or I find it empowering, so that makes it OK.” And
I’ve been teaching workshops on male gender socialization for about 15 years or so. The foundation of my presentation is the Act Like a Man Box, which I learned about from Paul Kivel’s book, Men’s Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart. I like calling it the “Act Like a Man
I have a confession to make. Once upon a time, I was a Sensitive New Age Guy. I suppose I should explain what I mean. As I’ve written in other posts, I’ve always been rather dainty. And in my struggles with the Act Like a Man Box, there were several years where, rather than rejecting
I know a lot of awesome people. And I’ve noticed that although they are all really different, there are some patterns among them. I think the world will be a much better place when there are even more awesome folks, so here are some things we can each do to make that happen. Surround Yourself
Sex-negativity, the belief that sex is inherently bad, is one of our most deeply rooted convictions. It is so deeply intertwined with our cultural norms that is becomes difficult to even begin to explore it, much less find ways to change it. One of the more subtle ways it affects us is in the way
It seems like every time I turn around, someone is standing under the banner of sex-positivity and proclaiming “Sex is awesome! Everyone should totally be doing it!” I certainly understand why folks fall into that trap- sex is so shamed in our society that it’s easy for people to jump to the conclusion that the
