There are lots of paths to sexual healing. Coaching, therapy, journaling, sexual experimentation, learning about sex and pleasure, reading- all of these can help you understand your unique relationship to sex. But there's one approach that you might not have considered that has the potential to help you create the sex life you deserve. Embodied…
Charlie Glickman
Have you ever noticed how often people talk about sex in terms of the "active partner" and the "passive partner?" It's a fascinating euphemism, and of course, what they're referring to is who's giving and receiving penetration. But separate from the fact that sex doesn't have to mean penetration, I don't see any reason to…
I have a question for you and I want you to take a moment to sit with it before you answer. Are you ready?
What are you afraid to feel?
I'm not asking you what physical sensations you dislike. I'm asking you which of your emotions you avoid noticing. What feelings do you find uncomfortable, or scary,…
How do you know what you really want in bed? When you're in a sexual situation, what tells you what you want to do, from moment to moment?
This is a really important question to think about because that internal sense of your own wants and attractions is where it all begins. It's the first step…
Here's a question that showed up in my in-box today:
Sometimes, when my boyfriend and I have anal sex, it's really fun. But other times, it just doesn't work. That doesn't happen when we have regular intercourse. What are we doing wrong?
It's sort of hard to give you a specific answer since there are lots of…
One of the themes running through discussions of sex, relationships, and gender is the notion of consent: what it means, what it looks like, how to recognize it, and how to respond to it. I'm really glad to see more conversations about it because consent is the foundation of a happy, thriving sex life. But…
I recently received this from a reader:
My boyfriend did something that hurt me deeply, and while he has apologized many times and we have talked about it a lot, I can't seem to let it go.
I know this is in no small part because I have a pretty low tolerance for hurt in relationships (I…
I don't usually use the word foreplay because I think that it reinforces the idea that penis-in-vagina intercourse is the goal of sex and that everything else is there to lead up to it. In my experience, those beliefs encourage male-female couples to get so focused on intercourse as the definition of successful sex that…
I get a lot of questions from men who want to be able to approach women and aren't sure how to do it. Whether they're interested in socializing, dating, or a sexual connection (not that those are mutually exclusive), there are plenty of guys who would like to do engage with women without being creepy,…
Did you know that August is Anal Sex Month?
Of course, you don't need to wait until then to explore anal pleasure. But if you've been curious about it or if you've tried it and had it not work, this is a great time to get the tips you need to make it hot, safe, and…
It probably won't surprise you to hear that I love anal sex. After all, I'm one of the authors of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, and I teach lots of workshops about anal play, prostate massage, and related topics. Of course, that's not all I do, but given how many people fantasize about anal…
Have you ever thought about what it means when you "pay attention"?
It's a phrase I've heard often enough. When I was a kid, teachers and my parents told to pay attention to what they said. Advice columns say that we should pay attention to our partners. But there's something about it that never quite felt…
Let me ask you a question that you probably have never been asked before. How does your ass feel, right now?
I'm not asking about your butt cheeks, or your hips, or your glutes. I mean- what are you feeling in your anus?
There's a reason I invite you to think about this. Most people hold a…
Do you ever have difficulty asking for what you want? I used to, and it's taken a lot of practice to be able to change that. On a recent trip, I had a great reminder of how important it is to be able to build that skill.
When I got to the gate for my flight…
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what a successful sexual experience is?
It's an important question because how you answer it says a lot about your attitudes and beliefs about sex. And that has a big impact on the kinds of experiences you're creating and the sexual relationships you build.
One of the more common definitions…
In some of the (mostly online) discussions I've seen around BDSM & kink, there's a sticking point that seems to come up over and over. What does it mean when people say that they get turned on by "pushing boundaries"? I think this is worth unpacking because there are at least two different meanings to…
I have a confession to make. Taking no for an answer doesn't always happen easily.
See, there's been a lot of conversation in different online and in-person communities that I move through about "creepy men." I've even written this piece on five things men can do to not be creepy. Part of those discussions include talking…
I spend a lot of time thinking about and talking about the connections between sex & shame. To be honest, I think it's a real problem that we have so little language for thinking about and exploring shame because it's part of everyone's life. And it's especially part of almost everyone's sex life.
One of the…
I've been leaning into some edges lately and learning how to ask people for help.
Specifically, asking people I don't know well for things has been a difficult thing for me. It's been coming up since I've been on tour for The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure because I've asked a few people I didn't know…
On a recent plane trip, I had the row to myself. I turned off all three video screens in my row because I dislike having a movie or TV show running if I’m not looking at it. Moving images catch my eye and I find it easier to not have them going than to ignore…
Here's a question that someone sent to me that is definitely worth asking:
Is it possible to accidentally sexually assault someone?
My short answer: yes. And I think there's a lot to say about this.
Learning Consent
One of the biggest difficulties when we're talking about sexual assault and consent is the question of what consent is…